Do You Love Me?
November 10, 2025 | By Tim “Skip” Haguewood
In my corporate days, personality tests were routine—each one claiming to help leaders understand their teams. Yet somehow, I always ended up in the “difficult personality” category. The feedback came in familiar phrases: “too passionate,” “too aggressive,” “resistant to instruction.” One assessor bluntly told me, “Nobody likes you.” A manager once said, “We’re agreeing, but I don’t like the way you say it.” Another commented, “You just look unpleasant.”
Good thing I’ve got thick skin. But those moments linger. They make you wonder: Am I likable? Adequate? Worthy?
Peter might have wondered the same.
In John 21:15–17, Jesus asks Peter three times, “Do you love me?” It’s a deeply layered exchange. Notice that Jesus doesn’t call him Peter—the name He gave after Peter’s confession in Matthew 16:18. He calls him “Simon, son of John,” the name from his old life. Why? Because Peter had gone back to fishing—not for leisure, but for work. Unsure of his place in the kingdom after denying Christ, he returned to what was familiar.
John 21:15–17
When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” “Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”
Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”
The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.”
Twice, Jesus asks, “Do you love me?” using the word agape—a love of total devotion and sacrifice. Peter replies with phileo—a love of friendship and brotherly affection. Finally, Jesus asks, “Do you even love me as a brother?” That stung. Grieved, Peter insists, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.”
This wasn’t just about words. It was about restoration.
Peter had once declared, “I’ll never forsake you. I’ll go to prison. I’ll die for you.” But when the moment came, he denied Jesus three times.
Luke 22:54–62
Then seizing him, they led him away and took him into the house of the high priest. Peter followed at a distance. But when they had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and had sat down together, Peter sat down with them. A servant girl saw him seated there in the firelight. She looked closely at him and said, “This man was with him.”
But he denied it. “Woman, I don’t know him,” he said.
A little later someone else saw him and said, “You also are one of them.” “Man, I am not!” Peter replied.
About an hour later another asserted, “Certainly this fellow was with him, for he is a Galilean.”
Peter replied, “Man, I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Just as he was speaking, the rooster crowed. The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken to him: “Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three times.” And he went outside and wept bitterly.
Now, by the Sea of Galilee, Jesus gives Peter a chance to reaffirm his love—three times, echoing the three denials. And then He gives Peter a mission: “Feed my sheep.” Jesus wasn’t questioning Peter’s worth; He was commissioning him. In verse 18, Jesus even tells Peter that one day he will die for the cause. Jesus saw Peter’s heart and still trusted him with His flock.
So let me ask: If Jesus looked at you and asked, “Do you love me?”—what would your answer be?
Most of us would quickly say, “Yes, Lord, you know I do.” But what would He see in your heart? A love willing to sacrifice, or a fondness that falters under pressure? Would your actions match your words?
Peter’s story reminds us that failure doesn’t disqualify us. Love does. Real, sacrificial love calls us forward—into service, into surrender, into feeding His sheep.
— Reflection shared by Tim “Skip” Haguewood, Seneca Church of Christ